I realize this is not a baseball story, but it's good nonetheless. There are two major female NFL reporters, Jillian Barberie and Pam Oliver. We sit about 10 rows up from the field at the endzone (where players and reporters enter the lockers). We are a loud group and we've been known illicit smiles and blown kisses from the cheerleaders that cheer right in front of us. Any one on the field in this area can definitely hear us. Anyway, Jillian Barberie walks onto the field and we immediately begin calling "Jillian, Jillian". We are ignored. She passes us again and again we shout, but are ignored. She comes back a third time and we start yelling "Jillian" again. She is still ignoring us when we start yelling "Pam, Pam, over here!"& "Hey Pam you're awesome!". She never turned to look at us, but you could tell her ears perked up at that one and little smile crossed her face. Lesson #1 - Don't ignore 9er fans!

After getting tossed for arguing a 3hird strike on him a batter got tossed. "Where do I need to go now?", the batter asked. The umps reply, "Anywhere, just as long as I don't see you.". So, the batter went and stood on home plate and yelled, "FINE! I'LL STAND HERE BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING HERE ALL DAY!"

I got the chance of a lifetime to go to a World Series game back in '96 between the team I love, the Braves, and the team i hate, the Yankees. Our seats weren't great, but what made them even worse, were the yankees fans at the top of the section. However, every time they started the "let's go yankees" chant, all the surrounding braves fans yelled "go home yankees" during the clapping period. Soon enough they were being drowned out and quit.

August 23rd, 2001...Shea Stadium. The Mets were not only in the midst of getting pounded 10-0 by the Rockies, but they were getting shut down by a pitcher making his major league debut. I was sitting about 10 rows up from third base so by the eighth inning I had already heckled every Met player, coach, trainer, bat boy and vendor. Top of the eighth, Jason Jennings, the pitcher who was shutting us out in his major league debut comes up to bat, already with two hits himself. Jennings proceeds to get his third hit of the night, a home run off of immortal Met Donne Wall. Well if I wasn't over the edge up until that point, that home run put me over. Donne Wall felt the full brunt of my anger and sheer displeasure over wasting three hours of my life and $20 of my hard-earned paycheck. In the midst of heckling his entire family lineage, I yell "Hey Donne! Is that why they call you Donne 'Over The' Wall"??? Mets third baseman (allegedly) Lenny Harris, started laughing into his glove after that one. Then I started heckling Lenny for laughing at a teammate. I felt he wasn't showing proper solidarity towards his poor teammate. So I asked him why he and Michael Jackson both wear a glove for no apparent reason. (My brother particularly liked that one.) Now I like Lenny Harris but I felt he needed to learn a lesson about being a "team" guy. Donne "Over the" Wall hasn't pitched in the majors since 2002. I hope in some small way I'm responsible.

Marty McSorely is the coach of the AHL's Springfield Falcons. I travel up there to see my hometown Hartford Wolf Pack when they're in Springfield. Marty is the guy who bashed his stick upside Donald Brashear's head and had criminal charges filed against him and he was found guilty. My big sign simply said: "McSorely- Assault anyone lately?" He pretended not to look, but I saw him catching a few angry glances.

Since Jeter had his shoulder dislocated, he has been replaced by the error-prone minor leaguer Erick Almonte. When I took my kids to Yankee Stadium last week, we felt the need to express our disappointment in not seeing our favorite Yankee at shortstop. Our banner read, "No Offense Erick, We Miss Derek" Pretty inocuous, or so we thought. In the 2nd inning, a security guy appeared, asking us to remove the banner. He couldn't tell us why, but he was told to have us remove it. I guess Erick was easily offended.

While sitting behind the backstop at home plate watching a high school game between the Vestavia Hills Rebels and the Clay- Chalkville Cougars (Alabama), both sets of fans were becoming unnerved by the two elderly umpires and their poor calls. Midway through the game while the teams exchanged positions on the field, the umpire behind the plate bent over to dust off the plate. Just has he did so I yelled through the fence, "Don't bend over--- You'll show us your Good Eye !! Both teams' fans died laughing !!

Rickey Henderson: At Astros Field, Rickey was playing LF for the SD Padres. The fans along the left field line were giving him the business all night. After the 5th or 6th inning, after pre-inning warmups were over, some kids were pleading for him to toss them the ball as a souvenier. He faked the toss, then turned around and threw the ball over the railroad tracks in left field. It was hilarious! Also Rickey...I was sitting in the LF bleachers at Shea for an Astros/Mets game in 1999. A guy sitting in front of me talking on his cell phone: Guy: Hey...I'm at the game. Yeah, he's playing...I'm sitting right behind him...hold on a minute. Guy (yelling): HEY RICKEY...MY FREIND JOE FROM QUEENS SAYS YOU SUCK!!!

Labor Day 1997. We were sitting by the left field foul poul. There was a guy about 5 rows behind us who tried to get Garret Anderson's attention. All he wanted was a little wave. Garret remained stone faced the entire time. He didn't even flinch. The guy kept yelling at Garret to give a little wave and Garret kept right on ignoring him. Finally, the guy was starting to get desparate and said "That's okay Garret. I am still here for you. Shake your right leg if you want me there." Garret didn't budge. "Shake your left leg if you want me over there." Still nothing. "Shake your right leg if you want me to shut up." Them you see Jim Edmonds out in center field waving his left leg back and forth. The whole section erupted in laughter.

My friend and I traveled from our home in L.A. to Tempe,AZ to see the Angels and Padres in a Spring Training game. The game itself was interesting, especially since there had been two fights during the first inning. But the funny part came about the seventh inning. My friend thought that the first baseman for the Padres was really cute and kept making comments to me about him. Well, one of the Angels hit the ball toward him and he made the play. But being an Angel fan, she wanted him to make an error. So she told him to drop it. But she waited until he had thrown the ball to second and was know adjusting himself. Everyone around us started busting up.

1995 Uttered by head coach Steve Cassidy. Merced College softball. "Hey blue! I bet you were at the top of your class (pause) "At the brail institute." I was umpiring the bases. I have to admit I had to hide the smile because he spoke with such conviction. - G Kinard

My all-time favorite was at Candlestick a few years ago when Tommy Lasorda was still managing the Dodgers. He was walking back to the dugout after a pitching change and someone yelled, "Hey Lasorda! Is that your belt or the equator??"

heard a block away from Busch Stadium (St. Louis Cardinals) on opening day 2003;via vendor selling competitive program/scorecard to what was being offered inside the stadium; a piece of his on-going sales chants included: "Buy the Redbird Review.....more baseball nourishment than a $5.00 stadium soda! Dr. Bob's tonic for baseball hysteria."

I had a coach who was arguing every call and finally told him another word he would be gone. The coach asked could he get in trouble for thinking. I informed him he could not and he preceeded to tell me "I think you suck".

I am an umpire. I was being heckled by the visitor's bench throughout the game. One kid in particular was annoying. When he was up in the 5th, I called a strike to make the count 1 and 2. He stepped out and shook his head. He told me that was outside (it was actually a good pitch). The next pitch was about a foot outside and I rang him up. He looked at me and I said, "That was outside, now go sit down". The kid never said another word the rest of the game.

I was a child in the 60's and went to Shea Stadium to catch a twin bill, Mets/ Braves. This was about the time Hank Aaron was on the box of Wheaties. He played right field and dropped a routine fly ball. I, at about 10 years of age yelled from the box seats, " Henry, guess you didn't eat your Wheaties."

A group of my friends and I went up to Montreal to see a Bruins-Canadiens hockey game. We ended up sitting in a section of all people from Massachusetts also up there. Well, after the game as everyone is in the bathroom, a chant starts of YANKEES SUCK, YANKEES SUCK!!!! This is happening in Montreal!!!!

As the fan formally known as the Bleacher Preacher in and around the friendly confines for over a decade, I created quite a few heckles in my day ( and nights, too) but a few comes to mind. I've been featured in many articles and books and interviewed by many broadcast and sports reporters.Harry Caray once tabbed me the # 1 Cubs fan, and I was knownfor giving awards to players and fans and for carring around a life size generic voodoo doll,dressed in the visiting teamsoutfits, until I developed voodoo elbow... I was at the winter meetings and ran into Gary Carter, who when he was with the mets was one of the players we loved to hate. I reminded him that he was one of my first voodoo images and he said that may be the reason his knees hurt so much, I told him" Gary, I can assure you, if the voodoo workrd, it wouldn't be your knee's that was hurting! I always liked ribbing Barry Bonds by asking him if he had a necklace that went with his earrings? But the best heckle job was on Vaughn Hayes of the Phillies, he broke out laughing when Andre Dawson was up and I predicted...THIS BALL IS GOING OVER YOUR HEAD, ...JUST LIKE SESAME STREET! and it did!!!

We used to have a guy back in high school that all of the other teams hated. He was our loud obnoxious left fielder that always had something new to yell for every game. Some of my favorites were "Start the mower." He would say this after a player took a close pitch that an umpire could have called him out on strikes. When an umpire makes a called third strike, it sometimes looks like he's starting a lawn mower. Another one of my favorites was when a player took a called thrid strike. My buddy would yell, "Take him out of freezer, he was frozen."

One of the all-time classics is "The Count", as in The Count from Sesame Street. When the other team's pitcher is struggling start talking in your best The Count voice. ONE! ONE BALL! Ah, Ah, Ah FOUR! FOUR BALLS! Ah, Ah, Ah! This one is a great one to get in the pitcher's dome, but you have to be pretty close to the action.

I love when players have a good time with the fans. We were yelling at Matt Stairs the entire game making fun of his wieght. I finally say, "Hey Stairs, you look like a softball player." He laughs, turns around to the crowd, grabs his gut and says, "Hey relax, I'm workin on it." Classic!

I was attending a Mets baseball fantasy camp and one of the coaches Greg Pavlich was constantly on me about my weight. His favorite was calling me Porkchop. Being a bit intimidated for two days I suffered in silence and didn't respond. However, during one of our games I was called on to pitch against of all teams, his. He was the assistant coach to Clint Hurdle and he started on me again calling me Porkchop (his favorite) and finally I had enough and I shouted at him from the mound. "Greg, I am Jewish, if anything call me SpareRib!" Both benches just started to laugh and the homeplate umpire had to call time to give us a chance to stop. After that he didn't bother me that much, which sad to say I missed. It was a great experience at the fantasy camp and the fact that I got heckled even made it more of a true baseball memory.

When I pitched for Villanova we had a few "big" guys in the bullpen. One day we were getting slapped around and we used 2 or 3 bullpen pitchers. Every new pitcher that jogged out to the mound was bigger than the next. This prompted the opposing team to shout: "Oh my God, Don't they have a salad bar out there?"

I work pro ball and heard this one the other night, I thought it was funny. THAT HASN'T BEEN A STRIKE SINCE THE CARTER ADMINISTRATION! then the same guy on a check swing appeal yells out " WHY DON'T YOU ASK SOMEONE WHO'S ACTUALLY WATCHING THE GAME"